Getting Rid Of The Victim Mentality

th Power (: 00:00

Forgive the person that whatever happened to you, forgive that person. Because holding on to resentment and past hurt keeps you stuck in the victim role.

Practice forgiveness, right? It's not for the other person's sake, but for your own healing. Forgiveness frees you from the power that your past holds over you,

guys welcome back to the podcast I am your host 44th power and today we'll be discussing the victim mindset and how the victim mindset can destroy your life right and actually destroy relationships with family it can destroy personal relationships right and destroy your health right and actually destroy your work relationships your finances so we're gonna dive into the topic

victim mindset, ultimately having a survivor mindset rather than a victim mindset. That survivor mindset is going to bring that gladiator out of you. Right? So you'll get a better understanding of why the victim mindset does nothing but cripple you. That gladiator or that survivor mindset actually brings out a greater side of yourself.

allows you to share your story or to share your testimony and so that way you can be a light to somebody else. You make a light of the situation or just heal. Even if you don't want to share your story or have your story be a testimony, at least it brings healing to your life, right? So what is a victim mentality? A victim mentality is where you often feel like a victim even when the evidence says otherwise. Some signs include

Frequently blaming others and having trouble accepting personal responsibility We know sometimes people like to blame others for their situation whether it's Whatever happened on the job whatever happened in their life whatever happened to their boyfriend Sometimes we get into relationships and things don't work out We may have one person saying it didn't work out because she did this I didn't work out because he did this right and may be true

It may be true what they did, whatever you say they did, or she did whatever you say she did. But what was the reasoning behind that person doing what they're doing? Does it make it right that they did what they did? But what was the reasoning? So a lot of times we have to look at the reasoning of things. That's where we get the lesson. So sometimes, yeah, the person may have done what they did, but it was for a particular reason. And then we focus on that reason, then we can say, I may have...

I could have been better in this particular area. I could have communicated better. I could have been more of a peaceful person when the person came into the home. So it's a lot of different things that we can actually look back at rather than playing the victim and saying all men ain't good or all women ain't good. We can't find no woman here or no woman there. Sometimes you gotta step back and say, what can I change about myself? And stop playing that victim mentality.

then ultimately as you clean up yourself, you'll start attracting those different type of people that's more aligned with the person that you have become. And a lot of times what causes victim mentality. A lot of times it's abuse or trauma during childhood or even adulthood. Like in my case when I was adopted, I was physically abused and mentally abused. So that trauma from childhood can...

definitely cause a child as they grow up throughout life playing the victim, right? And I think a lot of times people don't know how to deal with certain situations. And like myself, I didn't know how to deal with a lot of the things that was happening to me as a child. But as I got older and as I started doing the work and as I started growing more spiritually and more consciously, then I realized some of the things that needed to be changed.

And as I started changing those things, I found the strength, right, to now turn it to a survivor, right? So I turned that strength from a victim mode to a survivor mode. Even in adulthood, relationships go bad. So a lot of times with relationships, one person can say, I was done bad by this person. And so now nobody else is good, right? So now you become that victim, right? You became that victim in that relationship.

Like even in my situation, I always like to point things back at myself, even in my situation, right? My ex-wife, everything's my fault, everything's my fault. So you kind of develop that victim mentality to kind of shine the light off yourself. Right, when you can take a step back and say, what did I do that caused this situation to go south? What happened that caused the situation to go south? Forget what the other person did. What did I do?

And then once you start looking at things that way, you'll get a clearer understanding of coming out of that victim mentality now into that I survived this thing. Whatever it is, I survived this thing, whether it's physical abuse, mental abuse, right? I survived it. And now I'm gonna be a light to other people. I'm gonna share my story to be a light to other people so that way somebody else is going through something similar.

people all across the world, right? Billions of people. Somebody else is going through something similar as to what you went through. And maybe you can be a light to this person, right? Maybe you can be an inspiration, So a lot of times people like that survivor story, be a survivor, right? So the goal is to turn that victim mentality into that survivor mentality where you're now thriving, And so a lot of times too, different causes of victim mentality is feeling betrayed.

by someone, So by someone close to you. You can feel betrayed, whether it's a family member. Your mother could have done you wrong, Your father could have done you wrong, Sometimes you feel betrayed and that can become like feelings of abandonment when you're a child, Sometimes divorce causes trauma to children, And they can become a victim, right? Off of something just as divorce. So a lot of times we have to be careful about some of the things that we do.

especially as parents, some of the things that we say to our children because that can cause different issues in their lives as well and they can grow up being a victim, right? Playing that victim role and ultimately stunting their growth spiritually. And a lot of times with that victim mindset, we get comfortable with things that's familiar, So we always gotta remember the body is always going to want to revert back to its comfort zone.

So throughout our lives, we built up a comfort zone and our body will always try to retract back to that. However, we have to push forward and give our body something different to adapt to, right? So new surroundings. So a lot of times when we try to change our body, say, no, I'm used to this. I'm used to this dark place. I'm used to this quote unquote sunken place, right?

I'm used to playing the victim. I want to always look like the victim. And then we have to say, no, we're going to change that. We're going to go into our survivor story. We're going to share what happened to us. And we're going to use it as light rather than darkness. We're to find the light in what happened to us rather than darkness. Now, look what this victim mode is getting me. I'm stuck. I'm stuck in a situation that I don't want to be in because I'm still playing the victim.

stuck at a job I don't want to be in because I'm still playing a victim, right? And I'm stuck in a possible financial situation I don't want to be in because I am playing the victim. So we have to be cognitive and understand that that mentality is like a disease, right? Eat away at you and then you'll start to express a lot of the negative things that you really don't want to, but the body is comfortable there. So we got to shake things up a little bit.

I gotta understand the body is always going to try to revert back to what is comfortable and this is where we have to say no we're gonna start doing things a little differently now. Now that I'm growing more aware, I'm getting more strength, I'm starting to step into my power, I want to make some changes right. So when you've been hurt and when you have been abandoned or made to feel powerless it's easier to stay in a place where you expect the worst.

Right? And at least then you're not surprised when things go wrong. You're expecting something to go wrong. Right? Again, the body likes to feel comfortable. Throughout life, you set a comfort zone. So now when you try to pivot from that comfort zone, the body wants to pull you back down. So now you expect the worst, right? You expect things to go wrong. You're not even surprised that they went wrong because you're expecting it. Right? So staying in that mindset.

robs you of your power. It convinces you that life is happening to you instead of through you. Life is flowing through you. Things are happening for you, not against you. But again, when you're in that victim mindset, always gonna see things as things are happening to me. Why is this always happening to me? Right, that's gonna be your mindset. So you're not even gonna wanna see the lesson in

You're not gonna see the lesson because you always thinking why is this happening to me rather than for me, So we have to understand that just because you go through a certain hardship or you go through a certain struggle, certain traumas, right? And we're not, again, we're not dismissing anything, but we understand that we went through these things. Now let's fight back. Let's become a survivor, right? And the crazy part is

even though it feels miserable, it's comfortable for you to stay there. Right? It's comfortable for you because change is the real unknown. You don't like the unknown. Your body doesn't like the unknown. It likes pulling you back to that comfort zone. So healing requires stepping into a version of yourself you've never met before. So it means taking the responsibility now for what happened to you

but for what you do next, right? That's survivor. You're taking responsibility for what happens next. We can't go back and change the past, right? We can study the past, we can look at it, and we can say, okay, what lesson can I learn from this past? I can't change anything. So let's stop living in it. Let's live in the present moment, right? How can I make the present moment better? We gonna heal from the past.

Now once we heal from the past, we're to do our work to do what? Step into our power. So ask yourself, are you clinging to your past because it's Or are you ready to break free and create something new? Are you clinging to your past because it's familiar? Or are you ready to break free and create something new?

Because the life you want is on the other side is on the other side, right? So the life you want is on the other side of that depression is on the other side of that anxiety Is on the other side of that victim mindset? Right. So as long as we have that victim mindset, we'll never get to the other side Right. We'll never get to the other side. We have to become like gladiators We have to come into that survivor. We're survivors of what took place. I'm not a victim of what took

I am a survivor of what? And I'm gonna use that what? Share light or certain situations that's happening. I'm gonna use that to share light or certain situations. I'm gonna use that Trauma that took place to do what be an inspiration for somebody else, right? Because now through your trauma you gain wisdom If you've done the work and if you acknowledge the lesson you've gained wisdom, right?

So now you can say, okay, look, now I know what to do from here. And I get it. Some things that happen to people is horrific, right? Some people deal with things their own certain way and they're trying to heal. They're going through the necessary steps, trying to heal whether it's through therapy, right? Whether it's through different channels, they're trying to heal. I'm not talking about those people, right? We're more talking about the people that want to play the victim and they're not trying to do anything about it, right?

Those are the things that, those are the people we have to connect with and say, look, we need to make some changes here. All right, we can't continue to walk down that path. That's a path of destruction. That path is not gonna get you nowhere. That is a path of destruction that's gonna lead you to no end. Right? So again, we have to become survivors. Look at our situation and say, what can I change about my situation from the past? Nothing. Okay? So now what can I do today

to heal from it, right? Do some meditation, some deep shadow work, right? You looked at my last, if you listened to my last podcast about the inner child work, right? I wrote a letter to myself and that helped me out a lot. You can write a letter to yourself, right? Read the letter out loud, right? And if you wanna burn the letter afterwards, you can do that. Don't go back. Don't go back into that dark place. And it takes practice, it takes repetition and repetition.

You may not get it overnight, but it takes repetition. Your body has to grasp onto the thing that you're feeding it, right? So if you're feeding it something positive, it's gonna grasp onto the thing that's positive. It's gonna start expressing positivity. It's gonna start expressing the light, right? And if we continue to feed it something negative, it's gonna express negativity, right? You're gonna have those negative thoughts. So that's the thing that we wanna come out of. We wanna come out of negativity, right? We wanna come.

of those negative thoughts. We want to go from calling ourselves victims to calling ourselves survivors, right? We want to own our story, own what happened to us, right? Find light in it, right? Be an inspiration like I said before, Escaping the victim mindset is all about reclaiming your power, taking control of the narrative, right? Some best practices that you can implement

in your life to aid in that, that, getting rid of that victim mentality is self-awareness, right? Self-awareness and reflection, right? Practice mindfulness, right? Reflect on your thoughts, your emotions, your behaviors without any judgment, right? Journaling, I know a lot of people are into journaling, right? Journaling can be an excellent tool to help with self-awareness and reflection, right?

Helping you identify patterns of victim thinking and where they actually stem from, root cause, The more aware you are of your mindset, the more control you have over it. Affirmations, right? Use affirmations to rewire your thought patterns, Place victim-based language. This always happens to me with empowering statements, right? I have the power to change my situation.

Reframing challenges as opportunities for growth which helps shift the narrative from hopelessness to strength. Gratitude. Gratitude practice is huge. It shifts your focus from what you don't have or what has gone wrong to what you do have. Gratitude helps you reconnect with the present moment and gives you perspective on the blessings in your life. It's impossible to feel like a victim when you're

actively acknowledging your strengths and successes. You're on a daily showing gratitude, I woke up this morning, Gratitude for my children, gratitude for whatever the case may be, whatever's going on in your life. Seek out those who lift you up, not put you down, who encourage personal growth, who help see your life through a possible lens that you haven't looked at, right?

Not limitations, right? Distinguish yourself from those who have a victim thinking mindset as well. Set boundaries, right? Often the victim mindset thrives in environments where they're not clear about boundaries, whether it's in relationships or work. Learn to say no, protect your energy, right? Ensure you're not letting others dictate your sense of worth or your sense of control, right? Have a mindset of abundance, shift from a scarcity mentality.

feeling like you're always lacking or at a disadvantage to one of abundance. Believe that there are opportunities and resources available to you. The world doesn't owe you, but it can offer you endless possibilities if you're open to them. Forgiveness. Forgiveness is another one. Forgive yourself. Forgive the person that whatever happened to you, forgive that person. Because holding on to resentment and past hurt keeps you stuck in the victim role.

Practice forgiveness, right? It's not for the other person's sake, but for your own healing. Forgiveness frees you from the power that your past holds over you,

right? Forgiveness frees you from the power that your past has over you, right? The most powerful way to save the victim mindset is by taking consistent, intentional action. Small steps forward can break the cycle, right? The more action you take towards your goal of

healing, the more you prove to yourself that you have control over your life, you can do this. Right? Every morning you wake up, start with them affirmations, start with that gratitude, start with that forgiveness, right? Take action, right? Walk in your power, right? And at times you may need that professional help. That's okay. Right? Sometimes breaking free from the victim mindset requires deeper work, right? A therapist or life coach can help you walk through trauma.

Shift limiting beliefs and build the tools you need to live and empower life and step into your power Right, so it's definitely not about pretending everything is perfect, but about acknowledging your power in every situation When you stop seeing yourself as a passive participant in your life you start seeing yourself as the hero of your story Right. So that's the key. We want to now see ourselves as they as the hero in our story

Whatever happened to us, okay, I got you. Yeah, this took place and now I'm gonna turn this around. I'm gonna use this to my advantage, right? I grew stronger from this. I'm gonna use this to my advantage and we gonna start helping some other people wake up, right? We gonna start helping some other people heal, right? We gonna start helping some other people heal. We gonna get some people out of that depression, out of that sunken place. I've been there with you, right? So now I know how to what.

Use it to my advantage. How? Be a light to other people. Right? So with this episode, we're going to end it right here. I hope you guys got some valuable information from this. And again, let's be a survivor, not a victim. We are survivors of our situation. Because the victim was the past. What happened to you when you were the victim? That's the past. Right? So we're now in the present. We survived that.

Even if we don't want to acknowledge it or not, we survived it. We was the victim 20 years ago when it happened. Now in the present moment, you survived it. It's 20 years ago. You survived it. You just have to realize, I survived it. Walk in that power. I survived it. Walk in that power. Step into your power. Understand, you survived what happened 20 years ago. Right? So again, we're going to step into our power.

We gonna heal, right? We gonna do that inner work and we gonna set those boundaries, right? All of that allows us to step into our power and get rid of that victim mindset, right? So until then, I appreciate everyone that took time out of their busy day today and listened to the podcast. Hope you guys got some good food from this, some good spiritual food and share with friends and family. And until the next podcast, I wish nothing but peace, blessings and love.